[Note: With making the blog publicly available for search engines to index, and adding tags to the last post, I’ve been notified of my first followers that aren’t people that I already know, and I didn’t show the blog to myself. Awesome! Glad some of you like what I write enough that you want to hear more!
However, I also noticed that all of the likes were in fact for solely the last post, “Get on the Dragon Wagon.” I feel it’s worth clarifying that The Zelda Email Blog is a series, and several running gags and such will be much better explained if one reads the earlier posts. That’s what this blog is meant for, anyway – you don’t have to, but I’m going to pretty much entirely assume in my writing from here on out that you’re reading this from the beginning to the end.
Also, I am aware that I only post about once every month… that’s because I do a bunch of other stuff, and writing these takes quite a bit of time. Sorry ‘bout that.
Anyway, thanks again!
Jared
On with the post!]
We continue on to our next destination.
The farther and farther we go, though, the worse things seem to look…
Game: “Turn back, kid.”
“No, we’re not kidding: turn BACK.”
“We are SERIOUS. Turn. Back. NOW. You are GOING. TO. DIE.”
“…Eh. This could be entertaining…”
Thankfully not hitting any of those tornados, we exit the storm to a view of the night sky.
Not after too long, Aslan catches sight of something that strikes his fancy.
The sun? …Gummy bears?!
Nope – instead, our next location.
So like Ocarina, we’ve got a Deku Tree here, as well. Hmm…
Unlike Ocarina, however, the place is a major PAIN to enter. Very, very easy to accidentally fall in that water as you try to move up – doing so forces you down the waterfall, and makes you start all over.
After quite a number of tries, we finally make it inside the enclosure:
Where we find a mini-forest.
Not after too long, Link finds something that, er, doesn’t quite strike his fancy…
Contrary from what it may look like, it is actually not Link having digestive issues… it’s really the fact that the Deku Tree is lit up like a Christmas tree from Chu-Jelly creatures crawling on it.
That’s what you get when you don’t handle those addictions…
After we help him handle that issue, he speaks some garbled something at you…
Tree-dings?
He promptly apologizes for this.
So there is an Ocarina of Time reference here!
Yes, yes we have!
…Oh.
But it turns out we’ve gotta deal with these guys first.
See, these little forest-people are called Koroks – and as the Deku Tree states, “spirits of the forest.” They have an annual ceremony where one of them plays a cello, and the others dance around to it.
We soon encounter a slight snag with this ceremony as well, however.
There’s something about this game and locations named with menacing words like “Forbidden” and “Forsaken” in them… and PEOPLE STILL GOING TO THEM.
(I guess Aryll didn’t really have a choice, but… still…)
“CRUD, even the Hundred-Acre Woods would’ve been better than THAT!”
So, to help the Koroks finish their ceremony…
…we agree to rescue Makar.
It doesn’t take long before a little Korok makes a good point:
But the Deku Tree has an answer to that.
So you know what you do?
You climb to the top of the tree using a chain of these flower-shooter things, which swallow you and spit you back out at high-altitudes…
You get the Deku Leaf…
You use some magic, and you…
(That flower-shooting thing was actually surprisingly challenging…)
With that acquired, we can now cross a large open expanse of water and enter the Forbidden Woods!
No problem! All in a day’s work for the Ava- er, Link. Yeah…
Although definitely not my first guess, to actually get there, you have to stop at a halfway island to your left, and hit a tornado-thing to lift you up and send you high enough to make it to the end.
When you reach that island:
LAWN-MOWER-LINK AUTHORIZED!! ATTACK!
Replenishing that magic is in fact necessary, however.
After jumping from that island toward the forest entrance at the right time to hit the tornado, and dodging some enemies…
…we’re finally able to enter the forest.
And again, it does not take Link long to find drugs.
Don’t look all “See, see what I got!” at me! Bad Link! BAD!
Now, these two particular photos are from a little later on in the dungeon, but it represents something that happens at this point very well.
To get through a lot of doors in the Forbidden Woods, you have to take these huge nut-shaped spheres and throw them at these eye-flower things with vines extending from them.
However, if you get too close, the eye automatically closes and becomes invincible.
“Haha, ha, SEE what I did there? Ha, ha, ha… ‘CUZ I DON’T! Hahahahaha…”
It’s almost as though it’s telling you, “No cheating!”
(Or, well, the game designers… but yeah.)
Hehe… makes me think of playing Duck Hunt on the original NES as a young kid…
However, there was nothing preventing you from cheating back then…
You see, quite awhile ago when I first played Duck Hunt, I wasn’t all that great at video games (I mean, yeah, I was maybe around six), and would often get frustrated at it because I could never hit anything.
Well, because of how the Zapper worked, there was a simple solution to that… get a bit closer, and…
…
That old TV’s screen may have residual rings that remain from where the Zapper may have been pressed upon it…
Also – maybe thankfully – I actually wasn’t aware that the dog was laughing at you for missing a bird back then. To be honest… I think I thought he was crying…
XD
Anyway, back on topic.
We go through the now broken-open door to come across more of the little flower-shooter things. The difference here is that… they don’t send you far enough!
That’s when you realize… that you can use your Deku Leaf after you jump out of one of those things…
Our hero is honing his bending powers.
We head to the next room.
It’s a bit darker here.
It’s also considerably darker at, you know, the bottom of that huge pit there.
Not to be stopped that easily, however, our hero catches wind (hehe, punny) of this machine here. Just hitting the button associated with the Deku Leaf once sends a gust blowing toward the spinner, which snaps into motion and allows the carriage currently on the other side of the room to travel over to us.
Hitting it another time while on the carriage moves us back over there, and further into the forest.
Our hero continues to master his powers…
Link: ”Can I be the Avatar now?”
Random Unseen Narrator: ”No.”
Link: ”Dang it!”
After a slight bit more adventuring, we reach the bottom half of the main “hub” of the forest.
Where it’s not hard to fall into the huge pit below.
And where there’s a bunch of stuff isn’t quite available to us yet.
*ERROR: INCOMPATIBLE. DOES NOT COMPUTE.*
Basically, from here on out, the goal is to unlock the necessary doors, get the important items, and find the Big Key to fight whatever lurks at the end.
There’s a number of things here worth mentioning, however.
First, these little critters.
They look suspicious enough as it is. Really, they look like they’re going to swarm at you and strike, taking a little bit of damage for each one, quickly adding up.
Instead… do something a bit more annyoing… and creepy…
They latch onto you like parasites and make it really, really hard to move.
“AHEM. THIS IS NOT THE INCREDIBLES. PLEASE REMOVE YOURSELVES FROM MY BODY AND LET ME MOVE!”
I soon discover that a quick spin attack will ward them away, and actually kill some of them. Which is nice.
However, I also soon realized that unless you kill them all… it’s almost impossible to leave without one reattaching itself to you.
Kinda creepy.
Next, this forest section.
It looks nice, right? No random problematic bits, lots of grass… at most, it probably looks like a place where a few enemies will drop down, you’ll duke it out, and that’ll be that.
Oh no. Noooooo. You begin to walk somewhere, and…
ROOT OUT OF NOWHERE!
I actually messed up several times here, and took a bit of damage.
It can tire out an a person, hitting all those flailing roots…
Hunchback Mode.
First one of the day. …Great.
For our efforts, we get a Small Key to further our exploration.
We later fight an enemy about halfway through that spews those nasty critters from earlier. Out of his butt.
*shudders*
I quickly dispatch with my now more-honed spin attack.
“Yeah! Did you ever see Mr. Incredible do THAT? Can I be Avatar NOW?
“No.”
“DANG IT!”
(Regardless, I’ve gotta say that I like that screenshot… Pretty epic-looking.)
We fight a mini-boss later who does a similar thing, as well…
Ugh. Enough of the “spewing-creepy-enemies-from-the-butt” thing.
While we did have to put up with that, we do get something nice for it…
The Boomerang!
With this, we can access pretty much everything else in the Forbidden Woods. Now we just need the Big Key!
That, and it’s a pretty dang awesome weapon as well. So yeah.
So we take out the strings holding the flower thing to the top of the room…
…and it falls and breaks the previously at the bottom of this area, opening up a new area below.
And finally, after a bit more adventuring, and dealing with an outright brutally-placed enemy…
You know, that millisecond before he smacks you with his face down into the stinking water… AGAIN…
…we reach the area where we get…
The Big Key!
– Koroks throw their secret dance party, hoping you never find them.
(Dang it… hate cutting off text with these.)
With our boomerang, we can now break down the vines on the door leading to the last hallway in the forest. We do so, and enter.
Stuff seems fine at first. But it seems a bit too easy…
Yep. Shoulda known.
…Urgh.
We take them out, and continue on to one last room before crashing that stinkin’ party facing our last confrontation of the dungeon.
The chains on the doors retract with a clanking and “zzling” sound…
And the doors open with a “whoosh,” and shut with a “BANG”…
It doesn’t look like much of a party…
Um…
Oh hey! It’s- oh, wai-
CRUD, NO!!
…Wha- wha-
Okay, you’ve absolutely got to admit – that was a pretty freaky thing to have happen in an E-rated, Nintendo-branded Legend of Zelda game. It could very well be that games aimed at all-ages are just getting softer in recent years, but… the stinkin’ kid got EATEN. ALIVE.
Although my moment of confusion still happened with this boss, it didn’t last nearly as long with the last one. I tried a bunch of Deku Leaf stuff at first, but after not-to-long, the answer came to me:
Boomerang.
Slicing all the connecting cords opens up the flower, leaving the monster inside vulnerable. (And kind of a cool display.)
And along with dodging some pesky attacks, repeating that cycle a few times is really all there is to defeating this guy!
“You make but one mistake, my young Korok. I am more than just a mere ‘swordsman,’ as you refer to it. I am the Avatar!”
”No you’re not.”
”DAAAAANG IIIIIIT!!”
So we saved the young Korok! And get another Heart Container!
– throws you a curveball, and your grandmother is found dead back on Outpost Island from a cactus juice overdose! Like a true rockstar!
-_-
With that, we warp back to the Deku Tree…
And there it is! The second of three – Farore’s Pearl!
And with that complete, we now get to see Makar play his cello, and partake in the ceremony:
But something interesting happens partway through…
…I feel like I just partook in some master scheme for those Korok’s to take over the world!!
So, eight of them take seeds, and fly up into the air…
And with that, they leave.
It’s almost like… like… a virus!
Ugh…
Anyway. Technically, with that done, we’ve accomplished what we need to here, and can head on to our next destination!
However, you can have an interesting conversation if you talk to the Deku Tree again:
…Yeah, I’d like to ask about that…
And here’s what he has to say:
But I already know!! It’s Aslan! It’s Aslan!! It’s-
…Then I could tell you IT’S ASLAN! IT’S ASLAN! IT’S-
Yeah. Exactly.
…That HE’S STINKIN’ ASLAN!!
Urgh… yeah.
And with that, we really are done with everything in on the Forest Haven!
So we leave the forest, float down the river, and get ready to leave…
When we get mail!
“Because we know you do not own a mailbox of your own – besides potentially that of your recently-deceased Grandma’s on Outpost Island – you should know that by “peeking in,” you have just committed mail fraud, and can be sentenced to jail time at Windfall Island.
We’ll pretend this never happened.
Slowly reclose the letter, and put it back in the box, son…”
Hehe… No, it’s actually Komali’s Father, saying that he’s in your debt, and apologizing for not being able to thank you before you left.
*whew* So it’s official – no worries about mail fraud…
And we get…
Another Piece of Heart!
And now, finally, we can set off to the next location to get the last Pearl.
It’s always “immediately this”, “immediately that” with you… blah, blah, BLAH…
So after acquiring the second pearl – and not quite becoming the Avatar… we head out!
End of Post #5
Picture credits:
Duck Hunt picture: http://multiplayerblog.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/duck-hunt.jpg
NES Zapper picture: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/80/Wikipedia_Nes_Zapper.jpg
(Also, as an afterwords note I felt I should include: I have nothing against Winnie The Pooh. XD Great books and show for kids with, honestly, a well-conceived cast of characters. But… yeah. XD)
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The Zelda Email Blog 
